Merely the Brutal Truth
by Arre-Kate
Summary: companion to PUDDLEDUCKS..kbow!
1. Chapter 1

_**Merely the Brutal Truth**_

_By: Lady Arre_

_Chapter One_

_Authors Note: well everyone seemed to love 'Puddleducks' so much so I decided to write a companion piece. It'll actually tell you how they got together in the first place rather than just hint at it. If you haven't read puddleducks don't worry this story is not dependant on it. but apparently puddleducks is a good read anyway.

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**Brutal Truth I: My name is Oliver Hamish Wood.**

But Kates calls me Obbila Puddleduck sometimes,obbila because when she was little she couldn't say Oliver and it kinda just _Stuck. _Andshe calls me Puddleduck because of some game that we played when we were kids. She was only three so I don't think she remembers all that well but she still calls me that anyway. It's a long story. Fred calls me Woodsykins or Ollywood, or to be honest whatever comes in his head. I worry a bit about that actually there are a great many things wrong with the inside of that boys head. His twin brother George has recently taken to calling me 'oh captain my captain, thou brute of a thing" and that's really getting rather annoying. The professors all call me Mr Wood. Its quite funny really. Because when my dads around we both look. My dads names Hamish and he and I are close because my mum died when I was nine so we only have each other. Everyone else calls me Oliver or just Wood. And Ange and Alicia call me loggerhead when I'm doing anything stupid, which is also funny because I'm two years older than them.

Personally I think I should have been called stupid. Or loser. Or insane, delirius, messed-up, idiot, loser, moron… well you get the idea. Why? Because I fit every single one of them. Remember I mentioned Kates? Well Katie's my best mate; we have been since we were kids. Her dad and my dad were best mates in school and still are now. Katie, her brother Thomas and I all share a birthday which is really weird. June 4th, a great day, we always have massive parties with _everyone_ there. Thomas is three years older than me and I'm three years older than Kates.

The thing is though that even though she's only fourteen I'm starting to see her as more than my best mate or as a joined-at-the-hip-attachment-sorta-thing.

Like today right we were just sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace and Kates was writing a letter to Thomas and half watching he twins play exploding snap. I was sitting next to her with her legs curled up under mine and all I could think about was how nice it would be to kiss her. Need I remind you that I'm seventeen and she's fourteen? She shouldn't be kissing _anyone_! Especially not seventeen year olds!

Merlin I'm messed up right now- think I might go play quidditch with myself.

**Brutal truth II: I am buying Katie a new wardrobe.**

I can't believe Davies! The Ravenclaw team captain is six months older than me and he was openly checking Katie out! That's disgusting! He's way too old for her.

It's bad enough that I do it but I'm way too protective of her to do anything but daydream. (Not that I have been mind you.) I won't let any bloke touch her! And that's not because I'm possessive it's because I am protective of my best friend and boys like Davies are just sleazes and can't handle a great girls like Kates.

Though admittedly I can't blame him all that much she did look good tonight and that shirt she wore? You'd think she wanted guys like him to pay attention to her! It was..sooooo…..low.

And no fourteen year old should be stacked like that.

I am never ever going to let her wear that shirt again. And I'm taking her shopping as soon as I can I'll buy the girl some clothes that won't make sleazes like roger Davies come chasing after her like hungry dogs. Besides it's bad for the Gryffindor quidditch teams reputation. She's not going to wear that shirt again.

Unless it's just the two of us…

NO! Bad Oliver! Stop thinking that, you need to lock your self up. Handcuff yourself in your dorm or something.

…

I like that idea actually

Bad Oliver! Doesn't work, can't, shan't, won't, JUST NO!

I need help! Where the hell is Thomas when you need him to throw a bludger at you head?

**Brutal Truth III: The whole Weasley Family should be locked up.**

I came down to breakfast this morning listening to George Weasley serenading me with "oh captain, My captain thou brute of a thing, stop being so stupid and just let her win? She loves you she love you and hell she always will so stop being stupid and go in for the kill" no idea who it was about but George can't sing at anytime in the day, let alone when I've only got out of bed twenty minutes ago and haven't had enough sleep because I keep thinking about a certain thirteen year old. If that wasn't bad enough Katie turned up just after George's fifth attempt and told me off for throwing jam in his face.

And you know what Fred did then? HE WAS HITTING ON HER!

I'm gonna have a heart attack. That lowlevel redhead scum checking Kates out! That isn't allowed. I'm going to have serious words with him.

And if breakfast wasn't bad enough when I got back into my dorm at lunch, expecting everything to be where it should be… on the floor, or slung over the shower curtain rod. Percy Weasley has cleaned everything up. All my clothes have been washed, and folded. They're sitting on my bed… which he _made_… my quidditch gear is all set up perfectly, the bloody fool even IRONED my quidditch uniform! The shame! The pack of bertie botts that I opened last night at about midnight and left on the floor next to my bed are no longer there. I'm feeling violated. I need a nice healthy dose of sugar and someone stole my bertie botts! I open the top part of my trunk reaching for another pack and find that Percy put my jellybeans in a glass jar and wrote on it: 'for lollies once their out of their packets, keep them off the floor wood!'

This is insane. Can't a man make a nice healthy masculine mess these days its like being married Percy is such a nag.

I empty the jar shovel half of it in and smoosh the rest in Percy's bed. Serves him right I caught him looking at Katie today too.

I really really hate the Weasleys.

**Brutal truth IV: Gonna kill Marcus Flint. And Davies.**

Twice, just for kicks Flint was actually trying to feel her up this evening. But he's such a coward I just kind of wandered over and growled at him and he pulled his smirky little expression and says to me "Oh sorry Wood forgot that this is your _underage_ witch!"

So proud of Katie then- the little tiger kneed him where it hurts. "Back off flint, or there'll be more like that coming" she growled.

I hate Flint.

But not as much as Davies.

"Why do I seem to have all the quidditch captains wrapped around my finger, except the cute one?" Katie whinged to me later after I had congratulated her again for putting Flint in his place.

"Wha…?" I reply. That caught me off my guard that did.

"Roger Davies, he's such catch isn't he?"

I just stared dumbly at her at this point.

"Hey I got an idea you could talk to him for me, tell how wonderful I am you know"

Oh Katie, you are wonderful. Too wonderful for him though and the sooner you see that the better.

You bet I'm going to talk to Roger Davies. And there probably won't be much left of him when I've finished.

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_Authors note: yep please review; I like reviews more than Oliver likes jelly beans! So please review and tell me what you think. _

_(And longer reviews make me update faster just a hint) _

_Disclaimer: it's not mine. Its all jk rowlings. Though any spare Oliver Woods I will happily take responsibility for!

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This story is specially for: my dearest friends

Ash:who is wonderful and put me on her profile

_Giddyupgal: who can most of the responsibility for getting me into Oliver/Katie shipping_

_And_

_Mostly_

_TooSweet4Words: because I promised too, because she's been talking to me today and has reviewed like all my stories._

_And of course everyone who read puddleducks and reviewed to tell me they loved it!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Merely the Brutal Truth**_

_By: Lady Arre_

_Chapter Two_

_Authors Note: Chapter Two everybody, thankyou for everybody that reviewed! i love you all! can i just point out that katie doesn't have a speech problem she just calls him "Obbilla" because she can and its cute._

_Disclaimer: Will apply to all future chapters too since I'm sick of writing it- Not mine! Never will be!

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**Brutal Truth V: Not liking that position.**

I had my little chat with Davies this morning. He hadn't even looked at Kates at dinner and I was feeling quite proud of myself. Getting Davies and Marcus Flint to back off has been so much easier than I could've imagined. I can easily keep this up till Katie has finished Hogwarts then I'll go marry her myself.

I didn't write that.

Anyway I was feeling great – Katie had gotten rid of the Flint problem and Davies won't dare think about her after what I said I'd do to him. There's a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow too. I was just lying in the sitting in front of the fire in the common room and feeling happy when Katie got back from the library. It didn't need a genius to tell she was _mad… _I jumped to my feet assuming the twins had stolen her wand and were using it to play billiards or some such thing and that I'd need to protect my beaters.

Not so.

She glares at me; then tackles me over the arm of the sofa so I'm lying underneath her. Before you ask… of course I can take Katie, she's a girl for merlins sake- not to mention like half my size. She had taken me by surprise though and besides- I wouldn't want to hurt her, now would I?

"What did you say to Roger!" she demands and punches my arm. I was having a bit of trouble focusing at this point; I mean she was bloody sitting astride me, wearing one of those tops no less. I can hardly be blamed for not having my attention on her words. I had enough trouble not embarrassing myself.

"Oliver? Are you even listening?"  
"Sorry what?" okay not the smartest thing to say there. She started hitting me again.

"What did you say to Roger? He won't even talk to me anymore"

Good.

I didn't actually mean to say that aloud.

"What!"

I really need to take her to buy some shirts that she doesn't explode out the top of.

"Davies is a jerk. And besides he's the enemy Kates, quidditch season is starting in 34 days. Need I remind you that he's in Ravenclaw?"

"That didn't stop you snogging that Ellissa in Hufflepuff last April. Yes I saw you."

Got me there puddleduck. I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself. And of all moments for Kates to see. Ouch. But in my defence she was Scottish and she was quite a talented kisser.

"But she wasn't the captain of the opposing team."

"So?"

"Haven't you noticed that Davies has only been paying any attention to you since you started wearing this sort of thing?" I made a pitiful attempt at changing the subject, but thankfully Katie bought it. She leaned back meaning more pressure was on my pelvis and looked at me archly.

"What's wrong with them? Do I look like a slut?"

What I answered to that got me slapped across the cheek. Admittedly if I was a girl I'd slap myself for it too. I need to think before I answer questions like that.

"Seriously Obbila? Are they that bad," Katie asked, "Well, I'm going to need to buy some more clothes tomorrow then. Will you come with me? You can tell me what you approve of. As long as it's nice"

"Uh" was all I could manage. Things were beginning to get difficult.

"Please?"

"Sure"

"Okay then, g'night obbilla" she climbed off me and ran to the dorms.

It looks as if I'm going shopping tomorrow, but as for right now- I need a very cold shower and to _never ever_ end up lying underneath her again.

**Brutal Truth VI- Never going shopping with Kates again**.

This morning I woke up _underneath_ Katie. She'd run in to our dorm and jumped on me in bed to wake me up. It shouldn't have been a big deal for me since she has done that a million and one times. But it's never been after a dream like that. Thankfully Kates didn't have a clue as to what had been running through my mind before she had jumped on me.

"Obbilla! You promised! Now come on!" she scrambled over the other side of the bed and pulls a clean pair of jeans from my trunk, along with a navy blue puddlemere united windcheater and a red and gold tee-shirt. Then to make me go absolutely crazy she pulls out a clean pair of boxers from the side compartment. How she knows that that's where I keep my underwear I have no idea. Or that she knew how the pair she pulled out were my favourite, they have all these lions chasing quaffles on them. They're very cool.

I honestly swear that I was not dwelling on the fact that Katie was holding my favourite boxers when I was in the shower… or at least that you'll never get me to admit to it.

As bad a start to the day as that was it only got worse. I swear Katie tried on every top in every store in Hogsmeade. All she bought was a couple of tee-shirts and a new pair of pants. She bought some perfume too. I may have to confiscate that though… its going to make my task of keeping the male populations of Hogwarts away from Katie very difficult. And she doesn't need any help anyway. I caught another dozen guys or something like that ogling at her today. And she was wearing a baggy hoodie… I think it may have been mine at one stage… she's always stealing my hoodies.

My feet are killing me…

I hate shopping

**Brutal Truth VII- Thomas Bell is a fool.**

Here's the letter I just got from Thomas.

_Oi Oliver,_

_Eh mate, what's happening? Alexa said yes! I'm getting married! Can you believe it? We'll be hitched in April. _

_Its crazy… I'm getting married. I can't stop saying it. It's so awesome, I seriously thought she was gonna say no._

_Hey do you remember when we all sat around that time after quidditch practise after lex and lizzie had gone, and all made pact that we'd see every grand final that Gryffindor ever makes it too and never marry? Well, I didn't break it, I saw Kev the other day and he married that Ravenclaw; June or something. She's due to have their first kid this month. _

_Anyway enough about that, you're seventeen you don't give half a damn about marriage._

_So what have you been up to? Devising plays? Kicking Weasley's around? Hitting on Kates?_

_You had better get move on if you do plan to snatch her up; she seems to have a bit of a thing for a 'Roger'. I don't like the sound of him actually, sounds like a death eater.. Maybe the sorting hat got it wrong. She'd be much better off dating you._

_I just remembered something you told us on new years eve like ten years ago, how you and Kates were gonna live together and play quidditch all day. And that was your goal, not for that year but for when you got out of Hogwarts._

_Funny how you never specified nights huh Ol?_

_Either way you had better get a move on, that kid ain't gonna wait forever for you to grow up enough to realise that she isn't six anymore. _

_Later mate_

_Thomas_

What the hell does he want me to do? Snog her senseless?

She's not six anymore, granted but she's still too young for me to be dating. This is killing me, why can't I just keep it how it was? She's my best mate. This is fuster- frustra- damn I can't spell- fusterating me- is that spelt right? Oh whatever it'll do. (a/n I can spell it- Oliver can't ok? See "frustrating")

It is though, I'm so scared I'm gonna do or say something stupid and she'll never talk to me again.

Would she hold something like me kissing her when she doesn't feel the same way against me though? Would that stuff up our friendship? Would that just undo all the good times we've had? The fact that we've known each other forever? I can't even remember not knowing Katie… surely there's something there that is holding us together. Because damn it, all I want to do is snog her so hard she can't walk straight.

**Brutal truth VII- Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!**

I had been studying for my transfiguration test tomorrow (surprise, surprise) when the twins laughs distracted me. As their quidditch captain I am well aware of what sort of disasters and mischief follow those sounds so naturally I looked up to make sure they hadn't dyed my hair pink or shaved my head or any number of other horrible things they could do to me.

I nearly fell off the chair in surprise. The two were wearing stilettos- yes stilettos, those really pointy girly heel things.

And they could stand up in them without falling over; though they did wobble a bit.

Apparently they were trying to fool the girls' dorm stairs. It doesn't work though, as soon as they had got half way up the stairs it transformed into a slide and they slid back down into a great big ginger-haired mess at the bottom. I don't eve think that their mother could've told one Weasley part from another.

"Evidently not" said Fred in a pompous tone as if he was trying out a new potion recipe or something educated like that.

"Shall we try plan b then my dear brother?"

"I should think so chap"

They disappeared for a while after that I managed to learn that there is a very good reason why quidditch has never involved changing quaffles into badgers and the like- and that is because it is impressively pointless.

When I looked up again I really did fall off the chair in shock – instead of my beaters standing in front of me, there were two identical, very cheap, red haired hookers. They giggled.

"Hiiiiiiiiii Oliver…" drawled one. I think it was Fred.

"You two need a sexuality check" I told them and stood up.

"Oh Oliver" giggled the other. "You're so cute"

"I saw him first! Back off you hag" screeched Fred.

"Oh you sooooooooo did not" retorted George. How they managed to keep their voices that feminine I have no idea, it must have been a charm.

"You always steal the good looking ones from me!"

"Slag!"

And so on.

I think it was Fred who launched at his twin and began the catfight. I dearly love Angelina and Alicia for coming into the common room to break it up.

"Hey Fred!"

The twins immediately jumped apart.

"Ange?" Fred replied, I could just see a little thought bubble over his head saying 'stupid, stupid, stupid'

"What are you wearing?"

"Uh… that is to say… well, we were hoping…"  
"What? that Oliver would be your pimp?" Alicia cut in, George blushed an even deeper red.

"No!" I exclaimed "I have no part of this"

"Oh whatever Wood, we knew there had to be a reason that you don't have a girlfriend yet"

"What!"

"We're joking loggerhead."

Fred and George slunk off to change while the girls were distracted picking on me.

"And who says I don't have a girlfriend?"

I may need to take Fred's thought bubble.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Who? That girl you met at the quidditch convention?" Alicia asked.

"Uh" think quick Oliver.

"I knew it! Wait till Katie hears about this!" Angelina launched herself up the stairs and into Katie's dorm. Katie popped her head out a moment after.

"When?" she asked solemnly.

"Uh" is what I said. Why didn't I deny it then? Or the first time? Why the hell not? Because my friends - I am stupid. Now Katie thinks I am dating some girl who despises me… because I didn't ask her out fast enough, and strung her along a little. What can I do in a situation like that?

Not much to help anyway Katie is hiding in her room, and refuses to talk to me.

I can't wait for quidditch season to start, life makes sense on a quidditch pitch… all that matters is the balls

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_Authors Note: hello again, did you like it? i hope you did, please review and tell me. pick a line you loved and tell me why if you don't know what else to say. _

_(thanks to giddyupgal, for this technique, i kinda ripped it off her. i'm sorry! you don't mind do you?)_

_so please review, particularly if your going to add it to favourites or alert!_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Merely the Brutal Truth_**

_By: Lady Arre_

_Chapter Three_

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**Brutal Truth IX: Stupid.**

Katie is talking to me again.

She waltzed down to breakfast this morning gave me a hug then grinned at me and stole my toast- from my hand I might add. That girl of mine has a distorted sense of possession.

"Not mad anymore?" I asked, and stole my toast back.

"Nuh, its all good Puddleduck- it was just a minor attack of the green eyed monster…"

Wha…? She's jealous?

"I know its stupid, I mean you've dated before; I've dated before, and we've never had a problem."

Mostly because I didn't know about it, Katharine Jade Bell. Who was it? Did he… do anything? If he did I'll kill him.

"But I just" she shrugged "I dunno, I thought that I might lose my best mate"

"Hey, Katie Puddleduck? We're always gonna be best mates. Even if you marry professor Snape"

Katie pulled a face. "Ugh! Why would I – or for that matter, Anyone- possibly want to marry him?"

Well at least I'm not going to have to run around knocking professors off. However in Snapes case I think that might actually have been some fun.

"true, don't worry your pretty little head though. We'll always be best mates"  
"of course, I said it was only a tiny attack. Go jump who ever you feel like"

"But Kates…"

"I mean it Oliver I'm fine"

"Kates I'm n-"

"Shh. Go for it. Who knows she could be your soul mate"

"Katie!" she looked at me startled.

"Yes?"

"I'm not"

"Yes?"

"I mean I don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Don't…"

"mmm?"

"Don't… want the rest of this, I'm full"

Stupid, stupid Oliver.

So there I went; leaving her with my half-cold toast and half the boys in the hall checking her out. AND the belief that I have a girlfriend who may be my soul mate. I didn't even see her again today. I think she's avoiding me. – Oh Merlin! She can't have figured it out can she? That- that- oh bloody hell I'm gonna have to admit it now.

I have the hots for Kates.

And that is really worrying me.

**Brutal Truth X: I have a plan. And it's a good plan too.**

Haven't seen Kates all day. Ange said that she spent the day in the oak tree with her sketchbook. She only ever does that when she's worried. I think I know why too. She has figured it out and she doesn't feel the same so she's worrying about it and avoiding me so that I won't make a move on her. Naturally as I am not a squirrel I'm not going to be spending my time in a tree so where better to stress and avoid me? I knew that it would be a bad idea admitting it; there is always that safety net in complete and utter denial. I totally tore that net to shreds.

Either way its done now, so I'm gonna have to fix it. The plan is get over Katie. And in the meantime let her keep thinking that I'm with gemma because Katie knows that I'm not an unfaithful guy and if I have a girlfriend I won't hit on her.

. _This_ is going to be difficult. I don't even like Gemma

**Brutal Truth XI: Thomas wants me to be a groomsman.**

He told me that I had better be the one to catch Alexa's bouquet too. I don't think I get quite what he means by that, aren't girls supposed to catch it? Katie's cousin Zane is best man. He's about the same age as Thomas is. Weird that is that Katie Thomas and I grew up together and not them with any of their cousins. Especially since I live in Orkney and they live in England.

Katie's still upset, she didn't even respond when I told her that Thomas had written. He'd saved time by just writing our letters together this time. And when I told her that Thomas wanted me to be groomsmen. She just kinda glared at her shoes and snapped

"Taking Gemma?"

It took me a moment to figure out what she meant. Then my famous should-be-copy-righted monosyllabic answer came to my rescue/doom. "Uh"

"Thought so" Katie replied and without even a look sulked back up to the dorms. I tried to follow her and find out if she was okay, but I forgot about the stairs and fell down. Before I could pick myself up Fred and George appeared and offered me their stilettos.

"Sod off you two, you're not helping" I snapped and they scampered away laughing

I'm slightly confused, what's gotten into Katie lately? She didn't even look like she wanted to threaten me that if I let her brother choose a dorky tie she'd make me eat my broom.

I don't think the plan is working, I can't stop thinking about her and she's still mad at me even though she thinks I've got a girlfriend.

I really don't get it.

**Brutal Truth XII: the plan is REALLY not working.**

Ever noticed how our initials almost make the word KAPOW? KBOW, it's like a cross between kapow and kaboom. I discovered it in potions today, while I was supposed to be writing some essay on kelter potions for Snape. I was doodling a quidditch game on the table when some massive mental lapse made me scratch KBOW forever into the table- and just as Snape was walking past me too.

"Mister Wood? Would you car eto explain to me what use the kelter potion could be in a quidditch match since you seem so preoccupied with the sport?"

I slid my inkbottle across the initials slyly, I had my fingers crossed that he hadn't seen it.

"Perhaps then you could explain why you are drawing all over my desks and telling me that you desperately want to marry Katie bell have a million babies and lower the IQ of Britain by another eighty percent. When you have only written –oh- three and a half words of your essay?"

"uh"

'I will expect that essay completed before the end of this period or you will have-" the bell rang before he could finish.

-"detention, mister Wood, half past six, right here"

**Brutal Truth XIII: there are 4712 cracks in the dungeon floor.**

He had me sitting there, not doing anything. I mean is that a waste of time or what? and it didn't help THE PLAN much either. I had a whole three hours of not doing anything except count cracks on the stone floor of the dungeon and daydream about Katie and how '_kapow'_ kissing her would be and how much I wish I looked like Davies.

I really, really hate Roger Davies.

What does she see in him anyway, he's a bloody flower girl! Does Katie go for that whole Metro-sexual look? Perhaps I had better start shaving more often.

But the plan was to be getting over her not try and get with her.therefore I will not shave.

But Katie seems to think clean shaven is cute.

Cute? I don't want to be cute! I'm a bloke for goodness sakes. No shaving

Great now I'm arguing with myself on paper. That is really abnormal, perhaps I need professional help.

_Evil Oliver mental voice- or maybe just a nice steamy snog with Katie bell._

Down boy! No snogging of the fourteen year olds. That's sick

_Evil Oliver mental voice- (whines) but she's cute!_

No.

I will not argue with myself any further and I will not shave. That is plan b of THE PLAN. Do not try to look nice for Katie. And do not shave.

**Brutal truth XIV: I shaved! **

Merlin I am stupid. I had shaved before I even woke up properly. Now my face is cold, I think I have shaving rash and I am still confused as to why Kates is acting like a mental case. She just stared screaming her head off at the twins this morning because they started singing. I don't understand.

I feel like such a loggerhead, I'm missing something obvious here.

But I don't know what it is.

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_Authors Note: well theres another chapter guys, i think for this one we'll be looking at seven chapters? maybe, i know what the last line will be already. theres actually a little planning gone into this. shock! horror! can you believe it, me! plan a story! whoa! so please review if you liked it even the slighest, and if you leave a signed review i'll reply k?_

_brilliant! a demain mon amies! (thats french! insert your own accents)_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Merely the Brutal Truth**_

_Chapter Four_

_By: Lady Arre_

_Authors Note: i'm Back! i've missed you guys so much. this ones dedictated to all of you. thanks for not sending me hate mail for taking so long. (even if i did desrve it) i hope you enjoy chapter four...**

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**Brutal Truth XIV: They're all out to get me.**

If I didn't already feel like I had I'd say I should be hit by a bus. Katie kissed Davies, I have shaving rash, Fred Weasley stole ALL my jelly beans, George charmed a paper bird to fly around with me singing some stupid song, Katie kissed Davies, Percy ratted to McGonagall about me supposedly being a Bean-a-holic, McGonagall's confiscated my jellybeans off Fred and is refusing to give them back or order any more.

Damn it, in a situation like this, after a man has just walked in on his younger, female, best friend snogging an older, sleazier, pansy of a little boy, said man needs one of two things:- a nice large healthy dose of jelly beans or a leprechaun with a sledge hammer to knock him out. I have access to neither, mores the pity.

But here's what happened anyway.

I was walking back from lunch and I heard Katie giggling around the next corner, I figured I'd jump out at her and scare her a bit and nearly had a heart attack. Right there, in plain view was that dirty (starts swearing in Gaelic) sleaze Davies, HOOKING UP WITH MY GIRL! I cleared my throat, nervously. You know what he did then; he looked up at me triumphantly his dirty mud brown eyes _gloating_ at me.

"uh, right then Katie, see you at practise" and so said I ran away to my dorm where I've been pacing the floor for a good three hours, regretting that I don't have a second emergency stash of jelly beans. I'm off to practise now anyway…

On second thoughts… I'm off to get find some moisturiser for this shaving rash first.

**Brutal Truth XV: And so I dub myself Oliver the Stupid.**

Katie was the _only one_ I told about practise. I realised about halfway down to the pitch when it finally registered that it was the twins, Angelina and Alicia, in the common room playing some weird form of wizard's chess on a mat with coloured dots. Somehow they were using their limbs as pieces and George's bird was yelling out things like "right foot red" (authors note: yes its twister from a pure-born's point of view. Well done if you picked it)

I turned back barked "Liverpool FC" at the fat lady before she started to yell at me again for spending more time "between the portrait hole, than either side of it". (On another note I have absolutely know idea what the hell a "FC" is or why there might be one in Liverpool. I suppose though it's a step up from 'Michael Owen' which is what the password was last week (AN: Liverpool's my team you dodgits)) I stormed in to find another of the girls on my quidditch team being snogged senseless. Fred was lying on top of Angelina about to kiss her again when I went absolutely mental.

"PRACTISE NOW!" I thundered pulling Fred off her by the back of his shirt.

"Sheesh captain, just cause Kates is kissing Davies and not you…" Fred taunted, grinning the lopsided Weasley grin.

I was seething I grabbed his collar and smashed him into the wall.

"Alright, alright, chill out, we didn't know you were so touchy about Davies kissing…"  
Katie stood in the portrait hole and stared at me.

"Katie?" I mumbled in acknowledgement and trudged up the stairs and back to my dorm. I could feel Katie's green eyes watching me, and it felt like other green light I could mentioned.

"Obilla? Wait" she called. I kept walking knowing that if I turned around and looked at her, she could have Avada Kedavra-ed me on the spot and nobody could have told the difference. Just before I slammed the door to my dorm, I heard George call out, "I think its safe to say that practise has been cancelled"

**Brutal Truth XVI: I need Jelly Beans**

I remember stripping down to my boxers and collapsing face first on my bed last night, but nothing else so I'm assuming that I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew was Percy trying to wake me up for class, telling me emphatically that I was going to be late.

"Sod off Weasley, can't you see I'm sleeping" Percy must have got the hint because he was gone even before I pulled my wand out to start throwing rubber dog toys at him. Free of the irritation I sat up and looked around the room brooding, on how much I hate Davies, on how my broom wasn't in my hand anymore; it was standing neatly next to my trunk. On how my clothes weren't sitting comfortably in the middle of the floor anymore how I was positive that there was someone out to get me and the fact that I didn't know why, and then finally on the fact that I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Thus said I pulled on a pair of trackies and a Puddlemere t-shirt and went in search of the kitchens.

As always the house elves were more than happy to feed me. I am however still in shock that even in such a grandiose kitchen, there wasn't even a hint of a jelly beans, muggle or wizard. I don't understand, jelly beans are the staple ingredient of any worthwhile diet.

I've found a new favourite-food-other-than-jelly-beans though, red jelly with after dinner mints and sprinkles. The oldest house elf there, Lelmy tried to convince me that I needed something healthy to obsess over, like classes, being punctual, or tidiness, instead of quidditch, younger girls and jellybeans. I think I've found Percy's soul mate.

**Brutal Truth XVII: I really need my jelly beans back.**

After lunch today I went to ask McGonagall if I could have my jelly beans back. The second I entered the room, still in the trackies and Puddlemere shirt I was had put on a week ago before the first of the jelly-mint-sprinkle concoction, she jumped to her feet and demanded, "why haven't you been in any classes for the last week wood?"

"Uh, I'm not feeling very well professor"

"withdrawal symptoms!" McGonagall pressed a hand to my forehead and sniffed. "I don't suppose wandering in this castle barefoot is helping much though"

I spotted my jelly bean jar on the back shelf. My heart jumped, it was like I'd found my old puppy.

"may i…" I asked, restraining myself from leaping across the classroom and pilfering my jelly beans back.

"Have the est of the day off? Of course. But back in classes tomorrow Wood, I'll be checking"

She neglected to mention the fact that it was Sunday and I didn't actually have to go to classes anyway.

**Brutal Truth XVIII: the plan is being reinstated.**

I need to get over Katie. I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes I see Davies moving in on her. I've been tossing and turning all night. Theres got to be a way to fix this problem and I can't see it at all. I've tried everything I can think of to forget her. And none of it is working.

1. Don't think about her FAILED

2. invent/find a new girlfriend FAILED

3. Don't shave FAILED

4. Let some loser move in on what is clearly MY territory and kiss her…. Man I HATE Davies.

Its not working. We need a new phase of the plan.

**Brutal Truth XIX: New Plan**

I've got it. We'll forget the old plan- I've got a better idea. We'll fix the problem by getting Katie for myself. Davies sure as hell doesn't deserve her. So the new plan is.

Do shave, dump/uninvent the imaginary girlfriend, bash davies into the ground, and think of some way to make Kates fall head over heels in love with me.

There might be a problem there.

I don't think anyones ever been head over heels in love with me. How do you make someone fall madly in love with you?

Merlin, this isn't going to work either is it?

* * *

Authors Note: wow, now wasn't that fun. Only three chapters to go! please review and tell me what you think, what your favourite line was, or what you'll do to me if i ever take that long to update again. maybe i'll be able to forward it to my teachers and tell them once and for all that homework is detrimental to my health. Thanks for reading! 


	5. Chapter 5

_Merely the Brutal Truth_

_Chapter Five_

_Authors note_

_:ducks from thrown objects: _

_i know i'm really really late with this, _

_but school has been so hectic and my muse ran away._

_i think he's back but i'm not sure how good this is so you'll have to review and tell me!_

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**Brutal Truth XX: The PLAN is not working to plan. **

Katie is not falling head over heels in love with me.

It's not cool.

Not cool at all precious.

I'm talking like Gollum.

With lots of full stops.

I sound like an idiot.

And I need some jelly beans.

**Brutal Truth XXI: Alicia is an Angel**

I mean it. I love her. She brought me jelly beans. The first bag of jellybeans I have seen in two weeks. They are muggle but that's better than nothing. I will no longer be living on red jelly, after-dinner mints and sprinkles. I have jelly beans!

The jelly beans are the fruity ones, I love the fruity ones. Especially the pink strawberry flavoured ones. They remind me a little of the summer break when Kates bought that strawberry scented shampoo. I really did smell nice so I nicked it. it doesn't taste as good as it smells though. I got some in my mouth and its really disgusting, like eating shampoo or something.

Which when you think about-was what I was doing anyway.

Never-the-less I would stick to jelly beans any day. Bless Alicia and her Gryffindor quidditch team socks.

Just a moment-

She bribed me! She didn't want to have practise. That dirty little scoundrel. She's going to suffer tomorrow. We're having TWO practises!

You know I think Professor McGonagall might be right. Jelly beans do have something funny going for them; Everything is going blue.

This isn't normal.

"Weasley's!"

**Brutal Truth XXII: I am not a happy badger.**

I have no idea what those damned twins put in those jelly beans but they knocked me out for a good three hours. By which stage it was far too dark to have practise. That meant that I _had_ to hold two practises today. But it was good it irked Davies off no end since I had booked the pitch out just before he got there. Plus I got to spend four hours watching Katie fly around. I've been thinking that I might have to hunt Cedric Diggory down. He seems to have no trouble getting girls to fall in love with him. It's a desperate measure but I'm running out of ideas. I've still been shaving every single day and its killing my face. you have NO idea how cold it can get when your flying at dawn. Not to mention the bloody wind rash. It's not too bad though. I borrowed some of Alicia's moisturiser so you can't see it.

But still, I miss my whiskers.

Kates is worth it though, I think if I had too I'd even give up jellybeans for her.

**Brutal Truth XXIII: My team will win the cup this year.**

Practise was good. Harry beat his personal best, only thirty-four and a half seconds for him to catch the snitch. I only let one goal through. And that was Katie's. I only have that problem concentrating on quidditch with her around though; so I don't think it'll be a problem during the game. McGonagall said that she would buy me a lifetime's supply of Jelly beans if we win every game against Slytherin this year. Which honestly I was planning on doing anyway, along with Ravenclaw. And I suppose hufflepuff too since we couldn't lose to them if we tried. Diggory is such a terrible captain.

I swear if I ever lose to Hufflepuff I think I'll drown myself.

Either way we will have the cup this year because I am a great captain and my team is the best.

**Brutal Truth XXIV: And another thing…**

I'm going to go out with Katie sometime soon too.

**Brutal Truth XXV: The Twins have problems…. VERY BIG problems!**

They are back to their mission to get into the girls dorms again. They just spent the whole afternoon trying. I had been designing plays, real works of art they are too, in the Botticelli, Da Vinci, Monet, Raphael category.

But I'm getting off topic. So there I was play book in hand, spare pencil behind my ear. Thinking hard.

And out of nowhere come the redhead hookers again. This time though they didn't stay in character. Talking normally about how laden with treasures the girls dorm must be, the weasleys dashed up the staircase.

Aaaa-nd slid back down. Apparently it has some more intelligent way of telling that they are… well I think… boys.

They detangled themselves. Out of nowhere they got in character and started with the "o Oliver" drawly voice thing again.

It gets scarier every time.

Unfortunately Angelina didn't turn up to stop them this time so I was stuck with them. They giggled -far too much- and, I think it was Fred, tried to wiggle his hips seductively, which was more funny than anything else. They continued in this fashion up the stair case but again it didn't work. They got about halfway up and were sent straight to the bottom. Fred stood up first and shrugged.

"We didn't actually have much faith in that plan anyway" George announced, pulling off his skirt and rubbing the make-up off his face with it. thankfully he was wearing underwear. I don't think I could handle him a hooker AND naked all in one day. Fred followed suit.

"Which only leaves one other ploy"

"a sex change?" I asked drolly.

"of course not" George said.

"Too expensive, and besides we'd be stuck like that"

"And then there really wouldn't be much point of getting into the girls dormitories anyway now would there?" George finished. I can't help thinking that the whole conversation was one sentence that they just decided to share evenly.

"Well what is it then?"

Fred tapped his nose. Then George tapped freds nose. I'm not sure what it accomplished but then with the twins I never do.

"That"

"Our friend"

"Would be"

"Telling"

They were doing it again, the one sentence divided up thing. It really is kind of annoying

**Brutal Truth XXVI: The twins are a hopeless cause.**

The Weasley's last plan to break the security of the girls dormitories was to be carried up there by a girl. Pretty lame considering some of the far-fetched plans that Fred and George have concocted over the years trying to have practise cancelled. This failed too. One of the seventh year girls, Jessica tried to piggy back George up the stairs and they both ended up in a tangled mess on the floor. I think the twins must be as cursed in love as I am because Alicia walked in then and pulled the most hurt face I have ever seen her pull. She stood there for a moment slightly dumbstruck, then nodded calculatedly before she stormed out again. George looked to Fred with a manically panicked look and they chased after her. Leaving the obliging Jessica sprawled on the floor. Ever the nice guy I helped her up and told her not to worry, that my entire quidditch team is crazy and she doesn't need George Weasley anyway.

I feel kinda sorry for her though, she's really nice, and she's in the same boat as me. The SS my crush has just run off with somebody else.

At least she has hair in the right places for her gender.

I want my stubble back

**Brutal Truth XXVII: Oliver's back in the game!**

"Hey Obbila?" Katie asked me after practise today.

"Aye, that'd be me Puddleduck"

She grinned at the nickname and stroked my jawline, "Why have you been shaving so often lately? You look better with stubble"

"Uh…heh…" I laughed nervously, not entirely sure what to say. Luckily my usual quick wit and stunning vocabulary came into play for once.

"I thought you like the whole metro look better? I mean you're dating Davies aren't you" I asked, somehow pulling off a casual, confident and collected Oliver that I didn't feel.

"Not anymore" Katie laughed, "we really aren't that suited Obbila, I mean he's cute and all but we have nothing except quidditch in common and while I like it an all that's not a good enough reason to date someone is it."  
"No I guess not"

"So what about Gemma?"

I ran a hand through my hair embarrassedly, "I made her up"

Katie rose her eyebrow at me. "What?" she was grinning ridiculously.

"Ange was paying me out and then she started assuming that I had a girlfriend and that it was Gemma and I never really set her straight"

"oh Oliver" Kates laughed. "You are such a dag"

She kissed me on the cheek, and grinned, "But I wouldn't want you any different"

Still giggling slightly, Katie wandered out of the change room.

My cheek is still tingling.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

_AN: Please review! and thankyou for sticking by me when i've been so terrible at updating regularly!_

_i love you all..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Merely the Brutal Truth**

_By Lady Catriona-Arre_

_Chapter Six_

_Authors Note: Are you proud? I'm drowning in assessments but I still finally updated. I know it's a little overdue. But I hope you lot enjoy it anyway._

_Anyway to rehash what's happened since it been MONTHS since I've updated for you…_

_Oliver has discovered he has a crush on his best mate, Katie. Katie has abit of a fling with roger Davies, makes poor lil' ollie insanely jealous, Oliver accidentally makes up a girlfriend. The two dance around the subject for a bit until Oliver has a mini breakdown after seeing roger kiss Katie, and has his jellybeans confiscated by professor McGonagall. Katie and roger decide it isn't working and so Oliver is forced to admit that his "girlfriend" wasn't real in the first place. Katie kisses him on the cheek telling him that while he is a tool, she still loves him anyway. Oliver is still madly in love with her. And so… todays story begins_

* * *

**Brutal Truth XXX: Argh! **

She stole my toast again this morning. I hadn't even taken a bite out of it this time. It was looking pretty scrumptious too. There was butter melted right to the edges, the strawberry jam was spread just right. I'd cut it into perfect triangles, I should take out a culinary scholarship in France or something.

On second thoughts since toast and jelly-with-mints-and-sprinkles is all I can do, I might stay here and play quidditch instead.

Anyway Katie walks past drops the paper in front of me with the sport side up so I can see the quidditch scores and take sthe plate of toast from in front of me. Then Percy points out that we act like we're married. Percy isn't the most observant of people so it shocked me a little; it's the sort of thing Ange says repeatedly.

Angelina is a little too observant; she sees things that aren't there.

So the team spent the rest of breakfast and the day designing our wedding. Katie missed it though because she ran off to the library to finish her transfiguration essay. So I was there trying to enjoy toast slices number 3 through 12. And failing miserably since I really don't give a damn sideways about what particular shade of black my tux has to be, or how much Fred and George are going to ruin my reception. And then it dawned on me.

I didn't even know Katie's favourite flower was gardenia's and red roses. Or that she wants to go to Italy. Or that Craig Bellamy was Welsh. Or indeed who Craig Bellamy was in the first place.

I'm not sure I even see the connection but apparently it was important for Katie to run in and exclaim. "He's welsh, Craig Bellamy's welsh!" while I was spreading my thirteenth slice of toast. We all looked up bit didn't respond. How is one supposed to respond to that anyway.

"Merlin you twats, he plays for Liverpool" Katie stared at our blank faces and rolled her eyes. "Football"

Why do Muggles even bother with that? What's the point of playing with only one ball? And why does everyone seem to like Liverpool so much.

**Brutal truth XXXI: She's insane.**

I got to the tower this evening to find Katie sat down on the floor opposite the fat lady's portrait.

Katie had a Muggle newspaper spread on the floor open to the sports section. The top of the page had Premier league Legends written across it in large thick type. I still don't see her fascination with it.

Or why she has to make a spectacle of herself by sitting outside the portrait discussing Steven Gerrard's captaincy and Harry Kewell's groin injury with the fat lady. I'm not entirely sure I want her to be even thinking of Harry Kewell, let alone his groin. She's had a crush on him for a while. (A/N Harry Kewell is the man!)

A pretty big one too. Perhaps even bigger than the torch I carry for her.

On second thoughts….

That's not possible.

**Brutal Truth XXXII: So maybe I don't know half as much about Katie as I thought I did.**

Tonight, being a Friday night, with no game tomorrow, the team (minus harry, he had a detention from Snape) sat in the common room by the fire playing exploding snap. Very noisily I might add. Katie, Ange and the twins are all very competitive, they really got into it. We couldn't even here the snap exploding. Angelina won the game and thus the right to choose the next. It's an unwritten rule that's lasted for some three years since we began the quidditch team bonding nights.

Angelina handed each of us a pair of parchment and put us in to pairs. Fate obviously pays some attention to me since I was paired with Katie.

The object of the game was to list the attributes of your partner's perfect spouse.

This is what I got for Katie…

Ethnicity: Australian… she is in LOVE with Harry Kewell. (Funny how the only Australian I know the name of is a muggle football player)

Eye colour: green?

Hair colour: dark brown

Height (roughly): six foot (that's supposed to be like a magical height or something? Its always six foot, six foot, six foot, hah…losers I'm six foot three!)

Favourite sport: football.

Creative or analytical: Katie's creative so I suppose she would want someone creative too.

And the corrections

**_Ethnicity: Australian…_**

_Scottish_, _Oliver you idiot, I have been obsessed with your accent since Merlin knows when. Though you know if Harry Kewell's available. _

**_Eye colour: green?_ **

_Brown. You should know that_

**_Hair colour: dark brown_**

_That's 1 out of five so far_

**_Height (roughly): six foot_ **

_le sigh 6'3 or 6'4_

**_Favourite sport: football_**

_Quidditch I like football, but how many nice fit tall gorgeous wizards' do you know who even know it exists?_

**_Creative or analytical: creative._ **

_Ever heard of opposites attract? Someone a little creative's nice but oliba. Seriously, did you even think about this?_

Two out of five. I'm felling a little depressed.

Since she knows everything I like in a girl. She got full marks. For knowing them and practising them. I don't think she knows she practises them though.

That's a bit of a mental puzzle.

I'm as in love with her as always.

**Brutal Truth XXXIII: and I'm still discovering things.**

Katie wants to learn Gaelic. I found out from Angelina at lunch time. She made an impromptu decision to continue planning my wedding to Katie (which will never happen at the rate things are going now.) and Katie wants me to propose in Gaelic. Of course for that to do any good she has to understand Gaelic.

I know how to speak Gaelic. Why would she never mention this? She could have known how to speak it by now. I don't mind teaching her to speak Gaelic.

Hold on.

Katie wants _me_ to propose in Gaelic?

Me.

_ME._

Me?

**Brutal truth XXXV: I hate the game 'truth and detail.'**

Ever heard of truth and dare? Well truth and detail was an cowardly invention of alicia's to stop being dared to kiss George. Fred mentioned that we haven't played it in years in the change rooms after practise today. There I was having a nice lovely warm, beautiful, warm and soapy shower trying my absolute best to drown out the sound of George and Fred playing verbal volleyball across the room. Out of the blue, Fred yells at me "hey Woodsiekins, truth and detail, you dreamt of getting Katie naked last night"

Now truth and detail in the eyes of the girls is an innocent game, gives them something to giggle and gossip about and they let you go on eating your icecream. With the lads, its pretty much all out murder. You have to truthfully answer the question to their satisfaction or you have to do three tasks to atone for it, chosen by the initiator. Sort of like Hercules, except he actually committed a crime. I was an innocent bystander, trying to have a shower.

I yelled "no".

Thus I am indebted to the twins for 3 tasks lasting no more than a week and nothing illegal.

See you in the next life.

**Brutal truth XXXVI: dying, a lot faster than I'd like to be.**

**_Task 1: find out what colour underwear each of the girls' is wearing. Make sure they know that you know._**

I am screwed. I have until tomorrow evening to complete it. I'm going to be brutalised.

Either by Fred and George or by the girls either way I'm doomed. Not even merlin could help me out of this one.

You know who couldn't save me.

Katie could.

**Brutal Truth XXXVII: she is a LEGEND**

Pretty good plan on my own part too if I do say so myself. I told Katie what had happened and she explained it to Alicia and Angelina and all three told me the colour of their underwear. Alicia was wearing light pink, Angelina blue and Katie… well red, with a quaffle and broom stick on them, and it says speedy across the bum. Apparently they're her lucky knickers.

What am I supposed to think about that?

Probably not what I am thinking. I don't want to know what task two is.

* * *

_A/N: part seven is on its way all. Christmas break is in three weeks and I'm going to get all festive and update pretty much everything because I won't have any assessments for SIX WEEKS!!!!! Booya! Look forward to!_

_ooh ooh i forgot to mention it up there, but did you notice i changed my name???? _

_PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE review!!!!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Merely the Brutal Truth_

_Chapter Seven

* * *

__Disclaimer: All JKR. I just want to kidnap it._

_this chapter is should be rated a little higher because it has a__ little more sexual reference than the others. __If that stuff unnerves you PM me and i'll get a low key one to you I guess. __On with the story:_

* * *

**Brutal Truth XXXVIII: they still haven't told me the second task...**

Sodding Weasleys.

Enough said.

**Brutal truth XXXIX: stupid bloody coloured dots...**

They were play in that coloured human chess game in the common room again this evening. "They" being "The Sodding Weasleys", Alicia, Ange and Katie. But they had three mats this time, Ange and Fred were tangled over the top of one, Alicia and George on the other. Poor Little Katie was sitting cross legged on the third boredly calling out "Right foot red... Left hand blue...Left foot yellow." and so on. As I watched, Fred tumbled to the floor, knocking out Angelina's legs and making the two of them roll dangerously close to the fireplace.

Katie yawned. "Can't you charm something to call instead of me? I want to play"

"Fred's out now anyway... he fell." George commented.

"I still wanna play... HEY OLIVER!"

And so I wandered over. "What"

"Play with Kates"

"I'd really rather not."

Merlin knew getting tangled up with Katie was the last thing I needed. I'm head over heel in love with the girl and trying not to be. Making my hormones demand her, was a BAD idea.

"Please Oliver." Ange pleaded.

"I don't know how to play" I argued. Its true I didn't

"oh its easy... the caller calls out stuff like _"Right foot blue"_ and you follow their instructions... Put your right foot on a blue dot. Don't let your knees, backside or head touch the ground, and _don't fall over_." Alicia explained. I could have thrown something at her, She really wasn't helping my case.

I grimaced, "I really should go work on my new plays..." It didn't work, sodding weasleys.

George sighed histrionically, "It pains us to do it Oliver"

"Really it does" Fred added. They were doing the 'one-sentence-coming-from-two-of-them' thing again.

"But"

"We're ordering you to play"

"You still owe us two tasks after all Wood"

Behind them the girls snickered. They knew about the tasks, after the Katie had explained the first one, thankfully thought they didn't know the 'UN-truth" I had told to get in this predicament.

"Therefore"

Fred pulled out a parchment and quill.

**_"TASK TWO_**:" George dictated, **_"Play Twister with Katie... and don't whinge about it_**"

At this stage I would like to point out that I don't sodding

whinge. I just don't do it.

So I was stuck following the instructions that Fred's charmed shoe gave me. "Right foot green, Left hand yellow. Left foot blue".

The game is not fun. I was bent over Kates, with her leg wrapped around mine so she could reach the other side of the mat and I was wobbling. It wasn't helping that I could smell her perfume, and it was making me slightly dizzy and more than a little ... well... turned on.

I almost kissed her.

But I fell.

On TOP of her. If I thought I had a problem with lying underneath her... Well, this was worse. Much worse

So there I am, lying on Katie... and she's smiling at me. "You lose Obila" she says softly.

I nod slowly... I was in a very different plane to her though... the rest of the world was spinning. there was just me and her, lying on a mat with coloured dots. And I had lost... I was a goner. She was just too beautiful, I had tried but it was no use.

Resistance is Futile.

"Katie..." the words got stuck in my throat. she moved a little and I inhaled sharply. Fred and George's laughs brought me abruptly back to planet earth and the Gryffindor common room. I moved back reluctantly and turned to face the twins.

"Oliver that is the quickest--" George sniggered

"that anyone has ever got out in Twister!" Fred laughed.

Feeeling disgruntled, I scowled at them. "Well its a stupid game anyway... I have plays to work on. We have practise at five thirty tomorrow. Don't be late"

I'm sitting in the library now, with two quidditch books open in front of me, explaining 1920's Puddlemere chaser Jack Harrington's "Left Wings Dare" play and the right wings version of it that the Appleby arrows right fielder Bella Toron adapted in 1966. Katie and Alicia had pulled both off simultaneously in the last practise, but it still needed a little more kick. problem is I can't focus.

all that I can think of is Katie, and that sodding game of Twister.

**Brutal Truth XXXX:** _oh my giddy aunt..._

Do you know what they gave me for task three?! Do you know what The Sodding Twins gave me for task three?!

I can't do it. I can't do it.

I just can't there is no bloody way. My hands are shaking. I think I'm going to be sick... Its like how I felt when I was being sorted. _(I've never told anyone but I almost ended up in Slytherin... So much ambition it told me)_

except this is so much worse. I'm going to be sick I just know it. Or I'm going to cry. I really don't want to cry.

How can they make me do this. Have I been that bad of a captain? I didn't make them work that hard this morning and I only ever thumped Fred the once.

and Merlin knows he needs more than that.

I'm going to jump out this window I think... better dead than this. What on earth is Katie's _MOTHER_ going to think.

I'm not kissing her. I just can't do it.

I really really want to, so bad that I'm shaking. But I'm so scared.

She'll never talk to me again. Thomas will come looking for me and he'll rip me limb from limb. They'll put me in Azkaban break my wand and take my broom.

Katie will hate me.

That's why I can't do it.

**_Task Three: Snog Katie... properly; with tongue. How you DREAM about kissing her Wood._**

Its got to be illegal or something. I mean she's only fourteen. No one should be kissing her like that. My mother would have a heart attack if she knew, its so low. I'd be the biggest cad on the planet.

Her father would never trust me again, and he'd never talk to dad. Dad's already lost Mum, I don't know what she'd do if he lost his best mate too. He'd probably kill me too.

so Katie would hate me, her mother would despise me, My Father , Tristan Bell and Thomas Bell would all rip me apart. Then I'd be sent to Azkaban. where'd I be miserable and not allowed to play quidditch.

But I really really want to not care. I just want to do it. I can't do it to her though.

I love her more than I have ever loved anything in my life.

**Brutal Truth XXXXI: I'm gonna do it...**

I'm gonna tell Katie how I feel. then I'm going to run out the nearest window when she tells me the "Oliver... you're my friend" line.

"Kates? can we talk?" I ask sitting down next to her on the window sill. (this is handy... sixth floor window sill. i don't even have to move far. just lea right and smack instant dead-ness)

"Talk away Obila..." She doesn't have a clue what i'm about to tell her or she wouldn't look so calm, she'd be shaking like me, and swaying a little and about to be sick... like me.

"We've been friends since you were born. and I have loved every minute of it... I don't want anything to change..." i begin.

"Oh" Katie looks down at the ground outside. she seems a little upset but I can't figure why.

I go on " But lately Kates... I've been thinking strange strange things... I was jealous of roger..."

Katie looks up at me wide eyed. I'm shaking and my stomach is churning and the window is looking like heaven.

" But that's not all... I keep dreaming about you Katie. and its not all innocent."

She's crying. I made her cry. I stand up awkwardly, afraid to touch her.

"Katie, please don't cry... please, I hate seeing you upset. I know you don't want to hear this. but I have to tell you. I... I'm falling in love with you... and I think I need to kiss you"

I stand up, and run for the door. I can't take the rejection.

**Brutal truth XXXXII: I'm just going to die.**

Just lie here and die. I should've just kept quiet. Why did I have to tell her. For Merlins sake, I'm bigger than both the twins, and older. What could they possibly have done to me.

Merlin, I'm an idiot. The King of the Idiots. And now she hates me.

Some one has come in. Probably Percy to tell me that I have classes, that lunch is over, that jelly beans are detrimental to my health, that quidditch is silly...

Quidditch is all I have left. By now Katie will have blackmailed her father in hating my dad and as such my dad will have disowned me.

Its not Percy. Its her.

She looks happy. why on earth is she happy?

"Why did you run away?" she asks as she moves next to me on my bed.

I'm going to die. My poor heart can't take this, its just going to stop.

"Tell me the truth please Obila" she's still calling me that. that has to be a good sign.

"I was scared."' I say in a tiny voice. "scared you were going to hate me. I didn't want to see it."

" Oliver I couldn't hate you if I tried you great twit" she flicks me in the forehead lightly the leans down and..._ merlin._

She is kissing me.

Oh my goodness; the girl is kissing me.

With tongue. I'm going to faint.

Without even thinking I roll over on top of her and kiss her harder. Katie breaks off for air, I'm sweating, and panting and things are happening in the nether reasons that probably shouldn't be.

"I love you Obila, and if you ever get the feeling that you need to just kiss me again. would you please just tell me. I was in agony these past few weeks. I had no idea what I was going to do because I was falling in love with you to. and sodding Davies was no bloody distraction"

He was only a distraction.

I have died and gone to heaven.

A very very very intoxicating heaven.

'Just tell me' she said.

"Kates... I think I need to kiss you again." I growl and push my mouth on her so very sweet lips. I scoop her up in my arms, and wonder that she can actually bear my weight leaning on her little body. Courteously I move a little more of the weight onto my elbows before I can think of nothing else but kissing her.

Because that is exactly what I need, more and more Katie.

The Twins have come in, interrupting what is the greatest kiss I have had to date.

"Good for you Oliver.--"

"Katie--"

"We would like to--"

"Inform you however--"

"That any public displays of affection--"

"Will sicken us--"

"And in retaliation--"

---

Katie jumped to her feet. "_You're_ lecturing _me_ on public displays of affection after you burst in here _and_ _watch_ _us_!"

Fred and George look at each other guiltily.

" He dreamed about you naked" Fred said quickly, pointing at me in an attempt to switch the blame.

Katie turned her head back and grinned at me.

George continued... "That's not very gentlemanly of him, if i were you... i'd..."

"Telling me about it is worse George Edward Weasley, especially since you aren't even involved."

I bit back a snigger... his initials spell Gew. hah.

"Get your rear ends out of here before I rips your legs off and hit you with them." Katie orders, her tone scaring even me. The Twins splutter and make for the door. Katie turned back to me and smiles i watch her for moment as she walks toward me. before i smile back and take her tiny hands in mine.Then it hits me.

Shes my soulmate.

thats the most brutal truth of all.

* * *

_**Authors note...** well that was rather fun. __Oliver got his girl,__ Katie got Oliver (i'm rather envious!) You got the end of the story, I got my second chaptered story finished. __Maybe theres hope for me yet.** O**__oh if anyone noticed, and/or isn't too lazy to be bothered reading roman numerals we finished on 42. the meaning of life the universe and everything. __I thought it was cute, just like olivers little break down. can't help but make that boy slightly deranged with admiration for Katie Bell. its just so fun._

_**T**__**hanks everybody for sticking with me through this, and for reviewing, this chapter is dedicated to YOU.**_

_And one more thing before i disappear: are there any boys reading this? if there is could you please tell me in you review, (which ofcourse you are going to leave since its my last chapter and you are all so very nice) how you think i di with the "trying to write from the male perspective". i keep thinking there a moments in this where oliver is very feminine... or that you lads aren't so very different from us girls after all._

_so yes. any comment on that aspect would be much appreciated. _

_thanks everyone!_


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